Once again, it's been a year. Twelve months of successes, triumphs, failures and disappointments. As usual, the good outweighs the bad, though it never seems that way when you're going through. You simply believe that you're up against a wall too high to get over, too low to get under and too wide to get around. Resourceful individuals are fortunate. They maneuver out of tight spots with ease and create favorable outcomes. The less adaptive fall prey to circumstance, missing the solution that is usually within reach and forfeit ownership of their outcome. I’m blessed to be among the resourceful. When life gives you yams, make sweet potato pie.
My tremendous [new] growth spurt in 2008 was fueled by stark reality and actualized dreams; enormous challenge, sweeping change and learned lessons. As we enter the year in which Tokyo Police Club predict our “robot masters will build a better world,” the first Black family takes up residency in the White House and I will publish my first book. Not even in my most fantastic dreams did I envision a non-white president or a simple story about my grandfather kicking off a professional writing career. I am now motivated toward loftier goals and bigger dreams, armed with further proof that all things are possible.
During an extended and difficult molting season, bad habits, toxic associations, damaged esteem, poor perception and negativity was shed, creating space for best practices, authentic relationships, renewed confidence; brave hope, pristine clarity and the love of a lifetime. I soar into 2009 on wings, refurbished with the energy of youth. My debt can never be paid for a strategic plan that places innumerable blessings along a path of diverse terrain, which I appreciate as much for the rough places as the plain. I have learned to not dwell on choices I should’ve made. All things are as they were meant to be. Even those poetic two roads diverged were engineered so that the choice of one hasn’t left the other un-traveled.
Vices are still present, but rather than deny the physical self and suppress desire, I look beyond the action to the catalyst. After all, it is more important to be aware of and learn what drives the action. I call it the knowledge of liberation. It frees me to examine myself without attaching value and to see others in the same manner. Only that which we observe is true, though not always. I used to formulate opinions about others based on what they said instead of simply observing, which was an exercise in stupidity. I didn’t know enough about myself to make assumptions surrounding the actions of others. I still don’t. All I can do is decide if I accept what I observe and keep it moving.
During the second half of 2008 I learned to be good to myself and demand reciprocity from everyone, even those previously held to less-rigorous standards. Those unable to meet the challenge simply vanished, freeing space for some truly extraordinary individuals to enter my life; exceptional simply in their courage to appear with frailties exposed, whatever the outcome. Like a realtor with the distasteful chore of selling a house in disrepair, they stress the strong foundation and well-constructed frame that signals the possibility of a remarkable rehab. Most anyone who lives suffers damage, self-inflicted or inherited. Assigning blame is a terrible waste of energy that can be more productively spent. Ultimately the individual is responsible for initiating repair, utilizing everything available.
I cherish everyone I’ve encountered on my journey, especially those who didn’t meet the challenge. They were marvelous instructors, presenting lessons no one else could teach. Some were long in duration, not only because I refused see what was plain, but also because teachers often miss opportunities to learn from students. Though we don’t always recognize, every interaction has value. Our lives collide for reasons we may never comprehend. In our ridiculous attempts to apply earthly reason, we deliver a grand insult by presuming to know the Creator’s intention. We like to think we are in control yet when trials come, we cry out to God for help.
Acknowledging that the plan is out of my hands gives me serenity, courage and confidence to face each day. It really is a wonderful life if we follow instructions. Most every faith directs us toward love. Christianity commands that, above all else, we love God. We must also love our neighbor as ourselves. Though it sounds simple, love of self is not easily achieved. We look to other humans for validation, failing to recognize the divine that resides within us. We are the handiwork of the most benevolent. Self-hatred should not be an option, but our frailty offends us. I’ve learned to celebrate that which makes me human, rather than strive for perfection. It just ain’t gonna happen and I’m good with it.
The next twelve have already proven they will be most eventful. I’m already recovering from injuries sustained by a brick tossed through the car window by three restless youths. My face is a mess, but my mind is right. Despite pain and inconvenience, my thoughts continuously return to those preteens, with nothing better to do at 11:45 pm. I am sad for what their lives must be like and fear for what the future may hold for them. I pray for change and wish them all the best. We may never meet, but our lives are indelibly connected. I am honored to be part of an event that may perhaps bring about a catharsis.
My tremendous [new] growth spurt in 2008 was fueled by stark reality and actualized dreams; enormous challenge, sweeping change and learned lessons. As we enter the year in which Tokyo Police Club predict our “robot masters will build a better world,” the first Black family takes up residency in the White House and I will publish my first book. Not even in my most fantastic dreams did I envision a non-white president or a simple story about my grandfather kicking off a professional writing career. I am now motivated toward loftier goals and bigger dreams, armed with further proof that all things are possible.
During an extended and difficult molting season, bad habits, toxic associations, damaged esteem, poor perception and negativity was shed, creating space for best practices, authentic relationships, renewed confidence; brave hope, pristine clarity and the love of a lifetime. I soar into 2009 on wings, refurbished with the energy of youth. My debt can never be paid for a strategic plan that places innumerable blessings along a path of diverse terrain, which I appreciate as much for the rough places as the plain. I have learned to not dwell on choices I should’ve made. All things are as they were meant to be. Even those poetic two roads diverged were engineered so that the choice of one hasn’t left the other un-traveled.
Vices are still present, but rather than deny the physical self and suppress desire, I look beyond the action to the catalyst. After all, it is more important to be aware of and learn what drives the action. I call it the knowledge of liberation. It frees me to examine myself without attaching value and to see others in the same manner. Only that which we observe is true, though not always. I used to formulate opinions about others based on what they said instead of simply observing, which was an exercise in stupidity. I didn’t know enough about myself to make assumptions surrounding the actions of others. I still don’t. All I can do is decide if I accept what I observe and keep it moving.
During the second half of 2008 I learned to be good to myself and demand reciprocity from everyone, even those previously held to less-rigorous standards. Those unable to meet the challenge simply vanished, freeing space for some truly extraordinary individuals to enter my life; exceptional simply in their courage to appear with frailties exposed, whatever the outcome. Like a realtor with the distasteful chore of selling a house in disrepair, they stress the strong foundation and well-constructed frame that signals the possibility of a remarkable rehab. Most anyone who lives suffers damage, self-inflicted or inherited. Assigning blame is a terrible waste of energy that can be more productively spent. Ultimately the individual is responsible for initiating repair, utilizing everything available.
I cherish everyone I’ve encountered on my journey, especially those who didn’t meet the challenge. They were marvelous instructors, presenting lessons no one else could teach. Some were long in duration, not only because I refused see what was plain, but also because teachers often miss opportunities to learn from students. Though we don’t always recognize, every interaction has value. Our lives collide for reasons we may never comprehend. In our ridiculous attempts to apply earthly reason, we deliver a grand insult by presuming to know the Creator’s intention. We like to think we are in control yet when trials come, we cry out to God for help.
Acknowledging that the plan is out of my hands gives me serenity, courage and confidence to face each day. It really is a wonderful life if we follow instructions. Most every faith directs us toward love. Christianity commands that, above all else, we love God. We must also love our neighbor as ourselves. Though it sounds simple, love of self is not easily achieved. We look to other humans for validation, failing to recognize the divine that resides within us. We are the handiwork of the most benevolent. Self-hatred should not be an option, but our frailty offends us. I’ve learned to celebrate that which makes me human, rather than strive for perfection. It just ain’t gonna happen and I’m good with it.
The next twelve have already proven they will be most eventful. I’m already recovering from injuries sustained by a brick tossed through the car window by three restless youths. My face is a mess, but my mind is right. Despite pain and inconvenience, my thoughts continuously return to those preteens, with nothing better to do at 11:45 pm. I am sad for what their lives must be like and fear for what the future may hold for them. I pray for change and wish them all the best. We may never meet, but our lives are indelibly connected. I am honored to be part of an event that may perhaps bring about a catharsis.
Happy New Year!
3 comments:
Isn't the hope of progression refreshing?
Amazing that you can say that you're sad instead of angry! Thats progression by itself!
Hi Rodney. I"m sorry I've been away from your world for a bit. This is belated but congratulations on the publishing of your first book. That's a very cool milestone.
And you're right...when evaluating the previous year, even with all the stuff you've gone through, you kind of realize that some of those things weren't so bad.
Here's to a great 2009!!!
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