Connections

I’m sure this is something I’ve touched upon before, but it’s so important I’ve got to bring it up again. Like Ver.izon, I believe that we are only as strong as the network behind us. Many years ago I created a workshop called, “It’s Not What You Know: A Guide to Social Networking.” I believed then and now that we fail to take advantage of potentially beneficial connections.

Granted, the opportunities for establishing connections continues to diminish rapidly as the Ip.od, like its Disc.man and Walk.man predecessors, rob us of opportunities to strike up casual conversation. I admit to carrying a pair of earphones for the sole purpose of blocking the barrage of “I’m Homeless” monologues on the subway. I will deliberately place them in my ears, even if I have left the Ip.od at home on the charger. On those rare occasions I secretly listen to the performances, sometimes impressed by the ingenuity of the panhandler. I am convinced that a great majority of them are mediocre thespians in a city where mediocrity hasn’t a chance on the stage; not counting some of the singers Broadway musicals sometimes employ to boost ticket sales.

In addition to being a music lover, I am an avid reader and will just as often arm myself with a book. Some marvelous discussions have started simply because someone has read the book I carry. One morning while reading a particularly comical passage from a novel, I laughed out loud several times, prompting the woman across from me to comment that her son reacted very much the same way when he read it. We talked about that book and several others for the next thirty-seven minutes. She turned out to be a pastry chef at one of the finest bakeries in Manhattan. Whenever I drop into the shop, she makes sure my teeth hurt before I leave.

Not only am I not afraid to make new connections, I keep up to date with the previously established, which has been most beneficial in my new vocation. Earlier this year, I received an offer to publish my collection of short stories. I was completely green and had no idea what to expect or how to proceed with contract negotiations. Flipping through the mental rolodex, I remembered that the partner of someone I met at a memorial service for a mutual friend had a background in entertainment law. I reached out to him and was guided through the entire process. Last month, a different legal matter came up and he referred me to a former colleague, who gave me very expensive advice over cocktails for which she picked up the tab.

During that initial consultation over apple martinis, I was instructed, in addition to gathering the proper documentation, to chronicle the events leading up to the legal proceeding. Because I’ve never been one to keep things brief, I’m on page 209. The legal eagles passed the first 150 pages amongst themselves and eventually to a mutual friend in the film industry, with whom I’m also acquainted. They all seem to think it could be an interesting film. Certainly not a blockbuster, but it would do well “in a niche market.” I’d say more like Life.time, in between back-to-back episodes of Golden Girls and the The Nanny, but I’m just a little conservative when it comes to drama. They haven’t yet made the Tiffani Theis.sen or Valerie Bert.inelli film I can sit through, without gagging. I prefer a simple story, poignantly conveyed by superior actors.

What I’m working on can almost be called pastiche. It pokes around at gay marriage, the use and abuse of crystal meth, sex addiction, tax fraud, HIV, amateur porn, religious zealots and roach infestation. It’s more Dr.Phil than O.prah, but hey… if it will make a cute coin, I can forego Stoicism for Hedonism, but I digress. I sit, pecking away, simply to reiterate that networking is the key to success or a free fat girl snack, depending on which you place the most value. I challenge everyone to snatch out the earphones and have a conversation. Identify the potential for value in every connection that you make.

Some simple tips…

Master the art of cocktail conversation and I don’t mean that “Oooh, we drunk” exchange girlfriends have in the bathroom of the club as they take turns holding each other’s hair, searching for their reflection in a porcelain bowl of bile. Have something intelligent to say about a subject that affects us all; Barack Obama, the fledgling economy, the multi-million dollar photo purchase of babies yet unborn, though I’m told the twins have arrived.

Read a book. One of the classics is always a good choice, since anyone who’s taken a literature class had to read one or (in my case) all of them. Some suggestions:

At Becky and Tad’s Mojito Fiesta…

The Iliad or Aeneid – Required reading that most everyone hated. One more mention of the “rosy fingers of dawn” and it would have been all about Menelaus, Helen, some kerosene and a torch.

Ovid’s Metamorphoses – Some knowledge of Greek mythology is always a good thing, especially because we can draw so many parallels today; Orpheus’ descent into Hell can be compared to a gas station run to fill up your SUV.

Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs – Though not as widely lauded as his Beat Generation compatriots, Kerouac and Ginsberg, Burroughs penned a work that is so bizarre that the person who opens the book, is not the same person who closes the book. (Drop your knowledge out on the patio, where Tad has assembled a group to smoke a bone and discuss how accurately Blade Runner depicts the future)

Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger – Sure, it’s a little sophomoric, but Tad can relate to Holden Caulfield. When I read it, all I kept thinking was if he was Black, his mama would have been waiting outside of Pencey Prep with a belt and a Burger.King application.

At Destiny and Omar’s Gin and Juice Jump Off…

Black Boy by Richard Wright and Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison – As if we needed any further reminder that SHIT AIN’T CHANGED

Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy Leary – to offer some explanation why shit ain’t changed

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston – Janie is perhaps the first Black feminist in American Literature, but her grandmother is the character I love best. Early in the novel she sums up a Black woman’s role in one of the most touching scenes ever written. After you’ve read it, tell me you don’t see Angela Bassett all over that role.

The Isis Papers by Francis Cress Welsing – No one can formulate a conspiracy theory quite like black folks. This book explains how white supremacy is a worldwide system of domination against people of color. When referencing make sure you’re among fellow conspiracy theorists or you’ll sound like the Tim Meadows character in The Cookout, explaining the conspiracy dynamic of hockey, being a sport where a bunch of white men chase and slap around a black puck.

The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni – Every Black child born in the last 40 years should have some knowledge of our national treasure

To be a guaranteed hit at both functions, know where to get and how to roll weed. Always send a thank you card acknowledging your appreciation of their hospitality. You will never be forgotten.

Strike up a conversation while waiting on line. Yesterday, at the post office, I met a nice old gentleman from down south who is traveling to Huntsville, Alabama on Saturday for a wedding. He was express mailing a piece of the bride’s trousseau, just in case his flight was delayed or cancelled. It was his wife’s idea because she worries about EVERYTHING. For the past month she has been agonizing over every aspect of this trip, driving him to drink. He pulled out a flask to demonstrate.

Get to know the folks with whom you inhabit the rock.