Lesson #2: Ask for help

For the longest time, I would never ask friends for help, but would always offer support to those in need. I always had a great fear of being in debt and not being in a position to pay it back, whether it be money, goods, information or services.

As a result, Rodney became the clearinghouse for all favors.

If someone needed to borrow a couple of coins and I had it... No Problem!

If someone needed a book in my library... No Problem!

If someone needed to know who was in a certain film or sings a certain song... Call Rodney!

If someone needed help with a move... I was there!

I was glad to be of help. Yet, when I needed it, no one was offering and I was resentful, but I also wasn't asking! It wasn't pride that kept me from asking as much as a fear of being rejected or being construed as a user.

Over the past few years, after placing myself in a position where I truly need help, the rejections haven't hurt me nearly as much as I thought they would. In fact, they have helped me realize who my true friends are. Also people who truly know me would never see me as a user.

I don't practice Kaballah, but I am a firm believer in getting lessons anywhere they show up.

There's a kabbalistic concept called receiving for the sake of sharing.
There are different ways to express giving. One of them is giving whatever
the receiver wants: love, affection, wisdom, lessons, strength, time,
energy, money, etc. But there is another way, and that is asking for help
and permitting the other person to give, and by doing this, helping them.
Asking is sometimes a way of giving. (From the Weekly Kaballah Tune Up, December 9-15, 2007)

Over the past few months, when I have asked for help, people have shown up just the way I needed them to. That didn't mean I always got what I wanted, but I got what I needed.